Joey: Do you realize who I think I am? I'm Joey Clark and I know all the answers! Some people say Todd Oliver talks for me. I'll admit he talks for me, if he'll admit I think for him! I'm the bad little boy everybody loves! Wanna learn how to be a smart-alec,...try out some of these lines:
You talk so much, your mouth must have stretch marks!
What an outfit! It's nice to know they settled Mary Poppins' estate!
Thanks for the champagne..I didn't know Penzoil made liquor!
Hear about the new children's zoo in California,...last week 4 kids escaped!

Miss Lilly: Hello dear, how nice of you to look at my web site. I've been in Show Business a long, long, long time. I was Miss Rummage Sale 1932. Recently, I was featured in a magazine centerfold, no NOT Playboy...Field and Stream! I was the one with the DUCK in its' mouth! Thanks to my late husband George I'm wealthy. He wasn't rich. I married him poor, and he died poor. When we dug his grave we struck oil! Now I'm dating POPS. He's so dumb he thinks High Cholesterol is a religious Holiday!

Pops: "Ready To Go! I'm Pops." My nose is the size of your FIST. "I've got two teeth, green eyes and I charm everybody." The other day I fell in the lake. Two fish stopped and looked at me, one turned to the other and said “I’ve seen all kinds of bait in my life but this is ridiculous!  But I love my life here in Branson, MO. Branson is so clean even the pigeons fly upside-down. Every night on the Showboat Branson Belle, I'm in the show with Todd Oliver and his talking dog Irving. I don't like dogs, I used to be a tree! Miss Lilly must be the love of my life. It can't be her cooking. She's such a bad cook, for her birthday I'm going to get her an oven that flushes! The other night I took her dancing. All of a sudden she started growing taller and taller--then I figured out she had a wooden leg and I was spinning her the wrong direction!